Tuesday, May 20, 2003

Funny convo...Somewhat, and a little educational...


AWhig (10:38:03 AM): how's your shit going?
hankhsia (10:38:17 AM): ok, just peddling bleach
AWhig (10:38:19 AM): what brand do you work with?
AWhig (10:38:23 AM): clorox?
hankhsia (10:38:33 AM): yup
AWhig (10:38:55 AM): the people who worked as william morrison got free cigarettes...do you get free bleach?
hankhsia (10:41:55 AM): yup. we get coupons for free bleach
hankhsia (10:42:21 AM): you want some. according to our market research hispanic consumers use proportionally more bleach
AWhig (10:42:29 AM): why is that?
hankhsia (10:42:31 AM): so, you probably do to :-D
AWhig (10:42:36 AM): to clean the floors, etc.?
hankhsia (10:42:48 AM): big families. disinfecting is huge in latin america. bleach is cheap
hankhsia (10:42:59 AM): clean everything - toilets, tubs, sinks, floors
AWhig (10:42:59 AM): ah
AWhig (10:43:15 AM): so instead of getting different cleaners for different things, they just use bleach?
AWhig (10:43:17 AM): diluted?
hankhsia (10:43:22 AM): yup
hankhsia (10:43:26 AM): yup
hankhsia (10:44:06 AM): tilex, liquid plumr, toilet bowl cleaner are all just bleack
AWhig (10:45:40 AM): what a scam
AWhig (10:45:53 AM): what about windex? windex has got to be legit? :-)
AWhig (10:46:06 AM): all that non-streaking stuff :-)
hankhsia (10:46:10 AM): yeah, other chemicals
hankhsia (10:46:27 AM): scam? we call it marketing

Monday, May 19, 2003

This is from Slashdot...

Many young people around the world use the internet every day, and yet they have no memory of the history that led to the creation of the global network. Many have no understanding of how or why the internet has developed. As part of out continuing efforts to combat ignorance around the world, The Lemon is proud to present this timeline...

One of the links off the timeline is to Zombo. I find it very soothing for some strange reason. Very empowering too. I can do anything at Zombo.com...The only limit is myself.....

Rich

Wednesday, May 14, 2003

Funny Story


Shanting (10:41:28 AM): i love practical jokes
Shanting (10:41:35 AM): i pulled the ultimate last summer
AWhig (10:41:37 AM): what's the last one you pulled?
Shanting (10:41:44 AM): have you heard of tony and tina's wedding?
AWhig (10:41:50 AM): yeah
Shanting (10:41:57 AM): i told my 13 year old stepson and his best friend we were going to my friend tony's wedding
AWhig (10:42:06 AM): ha
Shanting (10:42:07 AM): so you know, in the show, they all act like they know you
Shanting (10:42:33 AM): so, i finally let my stepson know because tony was saying how we shouldn't have had that weekend together last month so close to his wedding, yada yada
Shanting (10:42:43 AM): but his friend kelly
Shanting (10:42:46 AM): he was clueless
Shanting (10:42:51 AM): his eyes were big as saucers
Shanting (10:43:08 AM): one bridesmaid walked donw the aisle pregnant
Shanting (10:43:18 AM): another on top of a groomsman and they were making out
Shanting (10:43:23 AM): the priest tried to give him beer
Shanting (10:43:39 AM): i kept apologizing for my friends and begged him not to tell his parents
AWhig (10:43:43 AM): ha
Shanting (10:43:50 AM): he was like, "no problem, this is the best wedding i've ever been to"
AWhig (10:43:54 AM): ha
AWhig (10:44:02 AM): when did he find out it wasn't real?
Shanting (10:44:07 AM): he said, ' i think the father of the bride's girlfriend is a stripper'
Shanting (10:44:10 AM): and i said, why
Shanting (10:44:22 AM): and he said, she offered to give me a lap dance in the back
Shanting (10:44:35 AM): well, we didn't tell him in the show
AWhig (10:44:41 AM): ha
Shanting (10:44:43 AM): at the end, the "cousin" got in a fight with the groom
Shanting (10:44:47 AM): and they took him outside
Shanting (10:44:49 AM): he never came back
Shanting (10:44:58 AM): kelly was convinced he was murdered!
Shanting (10:45:09 AM): kelly kepts saying, "tina, i think tony had michael killed"
AWhig (10:45:15 AM): :-)
Shanting (10:45:16 AM): you know 13 year olds, so imaginative
Shanting (10:45:26 AM): so dennis and i were rolling but we kept it up
Shanting (10:45:31 AM): finally, in the limo, on the way home
Shanting (10:45:43 AM): when he kept going on and on and seemed really disturbed about the murder
Shanting (10:45:46 AM): we told him
Shanting (10:45:48 AM): heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Shanting (10:45:57 AM): it was so funny, i thought he was gonna kill us
Shanting (10:46:05 AM): so, the next day, (we were in vegas on vacation)
Shanting (10:46:11 AM): i took them to that ride, the super high one
Shanting (10:46:21 AM): he told his dad he was scared and didn't want to do it
Shanting (10:46:48 AM): and his dad said, "don't come home and call yourself an O'neill if you don't do it. you're not irish and you're not my son if you're such a wuss"
Shanting (10:46:59 AM): so i took him and said, 'lets get your dad'
Shanting (10:47:23 AM): before he even went on the ride, you know the one i'm talking about right? they shoot you up and drop you down, way high above the city
Shanting (10:47:30 AM): anway, we called his dad and i started crying
Shanting (10:47:44 AM): and told him i was so sorry and i couldnt talk cause i started laughing
AWhig (10:47:45 AM): ha
Shanting (10:47:47 AM): so dennis got on
Shanting (10:48:03 AM): and was like, "mr. o'neill, kelly's hurt, we think he's okay but he in the ambulance now"
AWhig (10:48:51 AM): nice
Shanting (10:48:51 AM): i got back on the phone and i told him, 'kelly hit his head on the side of the ride. we don't know what his stat is until we go to the hospital but he's unconcious. the last thing he said was, i'm a fighting irish and i'm not a wimp. tell my dad"
Shanting (10:49:00 AM): so then, steve o'neill started crying
Shanting (10:49:05 AM): i was like, "oh shit"
AWhig (10:49:11 AM): lol
Shanting (10:49:16 AM): see, i called his wife first and asked her if i could do it
Shanting (10:49:26 AM): and she was all for it, he is a huge practical joker and gets her all the time
Shanting (10:49:45 AM): so then kelly got on the phone and when he heard his dad crying, he started crying
Shanting (10:50:15 AM): my husband didn't think it was funny, but i thought he should be punished for forcing a little kid on that scary ride. dennis wouldn't go on it, i didn't force him
Shanting (10:50:21 AM): kelly went on by himself
Shanting (10:50:26 AM): so now, the o'neill boys are after me
Shanting (10:50:40 AM): they said they are waiting for the perfect moment when my guard is down, hehe
Shanting (10:50:46 AM): i'm kind of scared, steve is good
Shanting (10:52:48 AM): we were not going to tell him til the end of the summer
Shanting (10:52:54 AM): but he was so freaked out over the "murder"
AWhig (10:53:42 AM): i'd say, it's too easy to get a 13 year old, but it is pretty funny
AWhig (10:53:45 AM): :-)
Shanting (10:54:01 AM): hehe, i took pictures of him dancing all night with the priest, the stripper, the bride. the priest was so funny, he would pet dennis and kelly's heads and offer them cocktails
Shanting (10:54:16 AM): yes, it is totally easy to get 13 year olds but they're getting good and its getting harder

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

Action the major ingredient for perfect film

THE formula for creating the "perfect" film has been discovered by an academic.

To create a hit movie directors need to combine seven essential elements in the right proportions to ensure they have success, according to university lecturer Sue Clayton.

Her research has revealed that the blueprint for a perfect feature must have: action 30pc, comedy 17pc, good v evil 13pc, love/sex/romance 12pc, special effects 10pc, plot 10pc and music 8pc.


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The end of this story is pretty funny...

Taken from this Jello Bio


April 15, 1986 Two weeks after Dead Kennedys are publicly targeted by Susan Baker of the PMRC, Biafra's house in San Francisco is raided and torn apart by a squad of Los Angeles and San Francisco police officers. Cops even ransack the cat-box hoping to find - well… ask them. "Frankenchrist" albums and Giger posters are taken from the house and the Alternative Tentacles/Mordam offices.

June, 1986 Biafra and four others are charged in Los Angeles with one count each of "Distribution of Harmful Matter to Minors". They are the first people in American history to face criminal charges over a record; three years before the attack on 2 Live Crew. Biafra and other supporters form No More Censorship Defense Fund to cover the money to fight the charges. Defendants face a possible one year in jail and a $2,000 fine. The law had never been used before.
The L.A. City Attorney's office admits to L.A. Weekly reporter Don Bolles that they kept files on several other PMRC-targeted musicians, but chose Biafra because it was, "a cost effective way of sending a message". The prosecuting attorney later says one of his goals was to destroy Alternative Tentacles. Fund-raising and the ensuing media circus delay the completion of the follow-up album to Frankenchrist, the appropriately titled Bedtime for Democracy.

August, 1987 Charges against Biafra and the other defendants are dismissed after a three-week criminal trial in Los Angeles. Even though Frankenchrist was not found to be obscene; Biafra, Dead Kennedys and Alternative Tentacles records are subsequently banned from a multitude of chain stores nationwide. This is exactly the type of de-facto censorship Tipper Gore and the PMRC had in mind.

May, 1997 Prosecutor Michael Guarino reflects on the Biafra Frankenchrist trial in the May, 1997 Washington Post, with regret.
"The whole thing was a comedy of errors," said Guarino, who now is assistant dean at John F. Kennedy University's law school in Walnut Creek, California.
"About midway through the trial we realized that the lyrics of the album were in many ways socially responsible, very anti-drug and pro-individual. We were a couple of young prima-donna prosecutors."
...To this day, Guarino gets a lot of guff about his leading role in the trial, from both his students and his family. "My son adores Jello and plays his music all the time, so my punishment is that I have to listen night after night to everything that Biafra has ever performed." - Washington Post (excerpt)

Wednesday, May 07, 2003

Like Eddie Murphy said..."Earn hundreds of dollahs in the comfort of your own home..."


It is audacious, ingenious and a little bit scary. Basically, it attempts to protect chemical plants, reservoirs and airports—all targets where terrorists could get horrifying results with relatively little effort—by a system involving 10 million Webcams and a stay-at-home army of up to a million watchful citizens.
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